Act On Tips

Christmas Day is approaching, the bird is getting fatter.
Actually, it may not look that way during
the start of September but for the events coordinators, business PAs and widespread party organisers of the
whole world, the time is today to begin with the organisation Yuletide celebration. There is a brilliant
option which is getting brought out this time round. The comedy show nightclub business Highlight is giving
smashing solutions aimed at work group nights out so it is by all odds worth bearing in mind for an idea.

Really can’t believe that Noel is all but upon us.
I’d better get myself a dress picked up.
Actually, I’d better also get on a strict diet to get inside the frock! So much to consider and gear up for.

Not to mention secret santa, let us just simply get me a few gatherings in the little black book!

This year let us just hope your business pulls it out of the bag. When and if there is a theme, let’s
hope they don’t request fancy dress.
Let the theme be embodied in the food and the decorations solely.

The top thing for a company attendee is to be allowed to basically turn up and enjoy.
So that is the
reason why a night’s entertainment at the comedy gigs might be ideal. Turn up in a big gang, watch a brilliant
roster of stand ups, enjoy a great laugh and After that really enjoy some grub and dancing. A great number of
components so one would hope something to suit everyone.

What is the most important thing in a cracking Yuletide party? There really is nothing worse than the
eighties type of work gatherings set up in the office. Workers getting blind drunk round their work desks and
finally canoodling the manager: just not cool. Now people require a bit more than flat beer and crap plonk.
Each Christmas around the UK, big businesses are attempting to exceed one another with something cooler than
their foes in the business. customer parties that include
freebies, champers and genius Circus Shows, brand marquees in swanky locations blessed with smiling welcoming
staff, the unparalleled view, the top menu, the best dresses..

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Which one is more painful: Calling tech support or a root canal?

Calling tech support can be a lot like going to the dentist with a toothache, whereupon the dentist pulls out one tooth at a time and keeps asking if it still hurts. He finally gets to the last tooth and says, “Ah, that’s the one.”

Tech support people fall into three major categories: those who know what they’re talking about, those who have no idea what they’re talking about but think they do, and those who know they don’t know what they’re talking about but want to convince you they do. It’s this last one you really have to worry about. They’ll keep you on the phone for as long as it takes to convince you that the problem is in your head and that your CD drive is SUPPOSED to sound like a washing machine during an earthquake.

When being told by tech support that a problem is not resolvable, try calling back. With most major companies, you’ll probably get another person whom you can present with the same problem. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called back after being told a problem is not resolvable and then being given the solution by the next tech support person I spoke to.

This approach may also be worthwhile when you are given a solution that may take you a considerable amount of time to test after you hang up. Rather than spend two hours just to find out the “solution” doesn’t work, call again. If the second solution matches the first, there’s a decent chance it’s the correct one. If not, if the first one told you that your printer won’t print, for example, because your new cartridge is defective and the second one told you that it won’t print because your toaster is on “Extra Dark” (the logic behind it might be something like, the toaster is sucking away all the “black stuff” from your printer), it’s a good idea to call back. No, not to find out how to lower the setting on your toaster; to find out if anyone at tech support is from the same planet as your printer’s manufacturer.

But don’t overdo the calling back. I once called about 4 or 5 times from a cell phone in a bad reception area. After giving my name, phone number, and a description of the problem, I lost the phone signal before getting a response. By the time I called back from a new location with better reception, they told me they already had me down as calling several times about the same issue and could no longer support me on this matter. Thank god my plumber doesn’t work this way.

In another instance, I called tech support just before sitting down to eat supper. The guy gave me so many “solutions” before giving me the correct one, by the time I got back to my supper, what was originally meat and potatoes, was now meat, potatoes and mushrooms.

The lessons to be learned from all this are, first, don’t be afraid to call back more than once for the same problem — but don’t abuse the privilege. And if you’re going to call from a cell phone, be sure to call with your free unlimited anytime minutes — because there’s always that chance you’ll get someone with unlimited solutions and you won’t be free any time soon.

shopndrop.com

Josh Greenberger: A computer consultant for over two decades, the author has developed software for such organizations as NASA’s Goddard Institute of Space Studies, AT&T, Charles Schwab, Bell Laboratories and Chase Manhattan Bank. Since 1984, the author’s literary works have appeared in such periodicals as The New York Post, The Daily News, The Village Voice, The Jewish Press, and others. His articles have ranged from humor to scientific to topical events. Visit him at http://shopndrop.com

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Very Precise Fortune Cookies By David Leonhardt

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of
paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been
written by a weather forecaster.

“You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink
polka-dot octopus…”

It continued on the other side: “… and asked to provide
details of your application for a yellow cloud mulching permit.”

Two things struck me about this particular fortune. The first is
that they have come a long way in their ability to predict
exactly what will happen and when, just like weather
forecasters. This is undoubtedly due to recent technological
developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology.
Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialized fields
have been developed to points of precision unimagined just a
generation ago.

And it’s not just the weather forecasters.

In London, Ontario, specialists are performing microscopic
cardiac surgery on patients miles away using a robot named CSTAR
(Can’t you just wait for new parents to start naming their
children after the famous surgeon, CSTAR?). This has opened up
the door to many benefits, such as sending robots to remote
locations without having to worry about a surgeon replacing the
wrong organs due to jet lag.

But the real benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in
me: “You know the world is a better place when we don’t have to
scrub our hands before surgery anymore.”

I can call anybody in North America on the telephone and they
will answer in real time. Not only is this a better response
than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone cables
direct my call to the exact person I want, saving the other 400
million telephone subscribers the inconvenience of having to
say, “Wrong number…again!” Just a few decades ago, Switchboard
Suzie was manually connecting everybody.

“Janice Land? No problem. I’ll connect you.” CLICK.

“No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?”

My father can pinpoint the exact amount of blood sugar he packs
in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how
much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it
in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and
received very specific information in great detail and in great
volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as
spam (I know, I know, the great spam innovators you admire most
did their heroic deeds in the 20th century, but you ain’t seen
nothing yet!)

Despite the volume of information I receive in my inbox, there
is one very disturbing element to all this extra free
information, which brings me back to the second thing that
struck me about my fortune cookie message.

It was wrong.

I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me,
and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver
huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that
information valuable or even accurate.

Which brings me back to the revelation that a weather forecaster
is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become
increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it
will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town
just west of here.

Once upon a time, the forecast would be simply “Sun and hail
expected to pass through the region.” Less accurate and less
wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make the fortune cookies. Surely
CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also
accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry chefs won’t have to
scrub their hands before baking.

And I wouldn’t have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all
afternoon.

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